Old politics In A New Parliament

And so normal service resumes in The Scottish Parliament. At First Minister’s questions, Labour opposition leader Iain Gray launched into his weekly tirade against The SNP on the subject of staffing cuts at NHS Glasgow. They were to be laid firmly at the door of the nationalist administration in Edinburgh. It’s a simple world if you are fortunate enough to inhabit Scottish Labour’s microcosm. The cuts and financial difficulties faced by the board have nothing to do with the former Labour Westminster government’s decision to remove £500 000 000 from the Scottish budget, nor do they have anything to do with the Labour dominated health board overseeing the voluntary redundancies and natural wastage. It’s just the nasty nats failing to protect frontline public services. Nat Cuts! Tory Cuts! Lib-Cuts!

Despite the departure of chief banshee Margaret Curran, the Labour backbenches bawled and taunted with all their usual gusto. It matters not how banal or intellectually fraudulent the line of questioning, what matters is that The SNP are attacked. Rational thought doesn’t enter the equation. The official opposition are like the baying congregation of a charismatic Baptist church, suspending all critical judgement, as a third rate discredited pastor launches into a fundamentalist attack against The Lord’s enemies- though it has to be said that Scottish Labour has a longer enemies list than any Old Testament God.

On election night, I myself must confess to a momentary lapse of reason. A colleague was explaining to me how Scotland had never been in a stronger position to negotiate with our southern neighbours. Not only do we have an SNP government in Edinburgh, but we have a huge block of Labour MP’s with a strong mandate to speak for Scotland. By her thinking, cooperation between the two would not only prove to be an effective defence against the impending ConLib threat to the Scottish Budget, but it could possibly lead to full fiscal autonomy. When it came down to it, she believed Scottish Labour would set aside tribal differences and do what was best for Scotland. For a moment, I believed in her hypothesis- then I remembered just who exactly she was talking about.

Anakin Danny and the Mysteries of The Force

You have to hand it to Scottish Labour for the way they held it together until The Coalition was formalised. Apart from a couple of sharp rebukes from Douglas Alexander and Jim Murphy in response to Salmond’s rainbow taunting, Labour have behaved with a certain amount of grace and dignity throughout the negotiations if not the campaign itself. Neither of the big Scottish parties had a particularly endearing election. None of The SNP's optimism and positive message that characterised 2007 shone through, and Scottish Labour fought a doomsday scenario, rearguard action, that was half double speak and half Maggie Thatcher milk snatcher.

It wasn’t until after the Fife boy’s last homily that the loss of power set in and The Crew started the same venomous ranting of a rejected lover that was evident in the immediate aftermath of their Holyrood defeat. Margaret Curran is in buoyant form against The Independentistas in The Sun, where she apparently blames The SNP for having the temerity to stand against Labour in the first place.

“This is the result they secretly wanted. They campaigned for Labour to lose the election, they stood candidates against Labour, they repeatedly called for Gordon Brown to resign."

Iain Gray was full of hyperbolic menace on the BBC where he described Con-Lib as

“a deal with the devil”

He then proceeded to threaten his once coalition partners in The Scottish Parliament with the obvious.

"The great majority of Scots rejected the Tories at the election and the Liberal Democrats will pay in the months and years ahead for propping up David Cameron."

Did you hear that Charlie? Ming? Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling. In the months and years ahead. Nobody holds a grudge like Scottish Labour. Ask The SNP, or as groundskeeper Willie would say,

“You’ve made an enemy for life pal”

Perhaps it’s more than a little symbolic that it appears Danny Alexander could well be the only Scottish Lib-Dem MP to take up a seat in the emerging cabinet. Every person of a certain age in Scotland remembers the last time that they controlled the levers of power. Propping up a minority Tory regime is most certainly not what the majority of Lib-Dem voters had in mind when they cast their vote for “change”.

It would be easier to take some assurance from the myriad of Con-Lib spokesman who talk about a “respect” agenda towards Scotland if the cabinet taking shape weren’t so white, male, southern English, Oxford (majority) or Cambridge educated, slick on one hand and entitled on the other. History will judge Scottish Labour, but for good or ill, they are genuine and real to Scotland. At best the new government will be perceived as alien to the majority of Scots, and even the noblest intentions won’t save The Secretary of State for Scotland from the appearance of tokenism- will we get a black minister as well as a jock mistah Dave?

So far it looks a lot more “Old” Tory than “New” and there is no honeymoon in Caledonia. Money is a problem. A new funding arrangement between Westminster and Holyrood is imminent. A large public sector and the iniquitous nature of Barnett consequential cuts will disproportionally affect Scotland.

Senior Scottish Lib-Dem’s are already quick to defend their position by promising a rapid implementation of the financially inept Calman proposals. The Tories campaigned on some unspecified pledge to do their “own thing” about their wee bother up north, and The SNP will demand nothing less than full fiscal autonomy. A wounded and threatening Scottish Labour will attack Con-Lib with the same ferocity that they usually reserve for the nationalists. Whatever method of financing Scotland emerges in The Queens Speech should be taken with a pinch of salt. Danny’s joined the dark side, and there are now just two electable political parties in Scotland. The Scottish Constitution will be decided during their all too infrequent moments of détente.

Suicidal Tendencies-The Scottish Lib Dems And The Curse of Mondeo

It’s not been a bad election for the independence movement in Scotland. The SNP consolidated their position after increasing their share of the vote in spite of a hostile and biased media, and the reality that Scotland had one thing in mind upon entering polling stations last Thursday-stop the Tories. For most, that meant a return to Labour in a futile effort to keep David Cameron out of Downing St. Labour ran an excellent campaign that played on the fears of the Scottish psyche and they should be congratulated if not admired for doing so.

Although the loss of John Mason’s seat in Glasgow East is a disappointment for The SNP, all polling evidence suggests that the results will be very different when voters go to the polls in the Scottish General Election next year. The Scottish electorate is much more sophisticated than they are given credit for, and many Labour voters will return to the SNP when it comes to the Holyrood election.

Football pundit Jim Traynor captured the mood succinctly when he announced on his BBC RadioScotland phone in that he,“ would vote SNP because he believes in independence for Scotland”, but this time he , “voted Labour in order to stop the Tories”

Unfortunately, the electorate have failed and the possible sharp medicine of a Conservative emergency budget lies just around the corner. If as expected, The Liberal Democrats were to form a formal coalition, or a confidence/supply agreement with the Tories, David Cameron could be handed the keys to number 10 as soon as tomorrow.

There is also the intriguing notion that the Lib-Dems in Scotland will have to fight the next election with a serious “guilt by association” handicap. In a few hours time “the party of change” could well become “the party that inflicted Tory rule on Scotland”. As coalition negotiations continue, Liberal Democrat MSPs must be having heart palpitations at the thought of a Con-Lib pact- a policy of community care for paedophiles would be easier to defend than laying with the children of Thatcher.

For The SNP it is a salivating prospect. The Lib-Dems are their natural competitors for the anti-Labour vote, and in some ways they have been more of an impediment to national liberation than any other political grouping in Scotland. Apart from their core vote in the highlands, they have been adept at capturing votes amongst students in particular, and the 18-35 demographic as a whole in both Glasgow and Edinburgh. It is these voters that the SNP needs in order to achieve a critical mass in support needed in order to drive through both an independence referendum, and ultimately a yes vote.

It is one of the great conundrums of Scottish politics that the SNP, an effectively revolutionary organisation, has failed to inspire people under 35, and women. For the past seven years, polling evidence suggests that it is the over 55’s who are the most likely to vote SNP, and the under 35’s who are most likely to vote for a unionist party. It shouldn’t be so. Monumental social change must include the youth vote. In America it was college kids who took to the streets to stop the Vietnam War, who went south to say no to George Wallace and yes to Martin Luther King. It was les estudiantes who took to the streets during “The Quiet Revolution” in Quebec., and in the Ukraine’s orange uprising.Tiananmen Square, red shirts in Thailand, the list goes on. Despite the seemingly interchangeable nature of a position in the National Union of Students and a career in The Labour Party, it is the Liberal Democrats who have captured the cosmopolitan campuses and cities of The Central Belt.

The heady days of 2005 when The Liberal Democrats peaked in Scotland were due a great turnout from the anti-war movement and amongst students. The rest of their vote? Well, those are the people on which they are about to inflict a surprisingly frank Alistair Darling’s “Cuts worse than Thatcher”. The party has already been in decline in Scotland since their marriage with Labour in the first two parliaments. It’s almost painful to watch them collectively self immolate for the lusts of their southern masters. It’s a tough trade if you belong to a unionist party in Scotland-big brother always comes first.

There is still the slight possibility that they could change their minds and form the “progressive coalition”, but surely any government that involves The Celtic Bloc would raise a fire in the belly of Middle England. Could English independence be far away?It would have made for good television, if in the run up to the Westminster poll,a pundit had asked someone in The SNP what they would prefer?

a) The SNP win 20 seats.

b) A second unionist party will make themselves unelectable in Scotland

c) You hold the balance of power in the London parliament.

What a lovely chalace to drink from.It hasn’t been a bad election for pro-independence people in Scotland at all.

A Disenfranchised Neighbour

As confusion reigns over who will form the next Government of the United Kingdom, the prospect of Gordon Brown holding on through a progressive coalition has provoked a venomous deluge of comment from the English right. England voted Tory and they should get the government that they voted for, but of course this means that Scotland would get a government that it voted overwhelmingly against. It is obvious that the British state no longer meets the needs or aspirations of the constituent nations. Perhaps Scottish independence will come quicker than anyone realizes- England is not a very happy place at the moment. I plucked the following comments of the internet.

"If we turn off the subsidy tap to the Scots we will soon have them in line squealing to kiss our arses. We need a whole lot of payback for the Blair/Brown occupation of England.Personally I would favour a few expeditions north of the border a la Longshanks…"

“62% of people want brown to fuck off and die, 28% of Scots want him to stay, send him back to Scotland and nuke the bastards”

“What and stitch up the fucking English once more? Fuck the jocks piss off back to Scotland and rape your fucking kids there you ginger haired fucking c u n t s”

“This is a perfect time to get the Scottish and Welsh Socialists off of the English taxpayer’s teat – they HATE us and financially rape us with their free elder care and free university educations etc etc – all paid for by the English taxpayer.”

“I am sick to death of the Labour Scots and Welsh socialists buying their seats with our money.”

“Fuck off back up to Scotland and take Brown with you!”

“Westminster for English MP’s only. If you have your own assembly, stay there, unless matters affecting the UK are being discussed. No MP’s for Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland. Perhaps it is time to end the Union. Oh and can we have our money back from RBS and the BOS.”

“Well said, the jocks are fucking scum.”

“Could start by dumping the Barnet Formula altogether. Let the Scots have the same budget per head as in England. Then stop MPs from north of the border from voting on English issues. Hopefully the Scots will then take their oil, haggis and oatcakes and go away to create a socialist utopia under Gordon Brown.”

“It is time to repeal the 1707 Act of Union – by doing so the United Kingdom ceases to exist. Scotland can go its own way – and so can England – that is what this vote has shown. If the UK no longer exists, it cannot be an EU member state – England and Scotland can then have referenda to decide on their future membership – I would anticipate that England would then be free of the EU yoke.”

“Hear hear! We’re fed up being governed by Jock twats”

“Jocks, thick northerners, Muslims, students. All of the above (plus public sector scum and the unemployed) want to keep the gay mong in power.”

“Time to end the Union. Time for an English Parliament. English MPs for English laws. English jobs for English workers. English taxes for English public services.”