Old politics In A New Parliament

And so normal service resumes in The Scottish Parliament. At First Minister’s questions, Labour opposition leader Iain Gray launched into his weekly tirade against The SNP on the subject of staffing cuts at NHS Glasgow. They were to be laid firmly at the door of the nationalist administration in Edinburgh. It’s a simple world if you are fortunate enough to inhabit Scottish Labour’s microcosm. The cuts and financial difficulties faced by the board have nothing to do with the former Labour Westminster government’s decision to remove £500 000 000 from the Scottish budget, nor do they have anything to do with the Labour dominated health board overseeing the voluntary redundancies and natural wastage. It’s just the nasty nats failing to protect frontline public services. Nat Cuts! Tory Cuts! Lib-Cuts!

Despite the departure of chief banshee Margaret Curran, the Labour backbenches bawled and taunted with all their usual gusto. It matters not how banal or intellectually fraudulent the line of questioning, what matters is that The SNP are attacked. Rational thought doesn’t enter the equation. The official opposition are like the baying congregation of a charismatic Baptist church, suspending all critical judgement, as a third rate discredited pastor launches into a fundamentalist attack against The Lord’s enemies- though it has to be said that Scottish Labour has a longer enemies list than any Old Testament God.

On election night, I myself must confess to a momentary lapse of reason. A colleague was explaining to me how Scotland had never been in a stronger position to negotiate with our southern neighbours. Not only do we have an SNP government in Edinburgh, but we have a huge block of Labour MP’s with a strong mandate to speak for Scotland. By her thinking, cooperation between the two would not only prove to be an effective defence against the impending ConLib threat to the Scottish Budget, but it could possibly lead to full fiscal autonomy. When it came down to it, she believed Scottish Labour would set aside tribal differences and do what was best for Scotland. For a moment, I believed in her hypothesis- then I remembered just who exactly she was talking about.

Anakin Danny and the Mysteries of The Force

You have to hand it to Scottish Labour for the way they held it together until The Coalition was formalised. Apart from a couple of sharp rebukes from Douglas Alexander and Jim Murphy in response to Salmond’s rainbow taunting, Labour have behaved with a certain amount of grace and dignity throughout the negotiations if not the campaign itself. Neither of the big Scottish parties had a particularly endearing election. None of The SNP's optimism and positive message that characterised 2007 shone through, and Scottish Labour fought a doomsday scenario, rearguard action, that was half double speak and half Maggie Thatcher milk snatcher.

It wasn’t until after the Fife boy’s last homily that the loss of power set in and The Crew started the same venomous ranting of a rejected lover that was evident in the immediate aftermath of their Holyrood defeat. Margaret Curran is in buoyant form against The Independentistas in The Sun, where she apparently blames The SNP for having the temerity to stand against Labour in the first place.

“This is the result they secretly wanted. They campaigned for Labour to lose the election, they stood candidates against Labour, they repeatedly called for Gordon Brown to resign."

Iain Gray was full of hyperbolic menace on the BBC where he described Con-Lib as

“a deal with the devil”

He then proceeded to threaten his once coalition partners in The Scottish Parliament with the obvious.

"The great majority of Scots rejected the Tories at the election and the Liberal Democrats will pay in the months and years ahead for propping up David Cameron."

Did you hear that Charlie? Ming? Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling. In the months and years ahead. Nobody holds a grudge like Scottish Labour. Ask The SNP, or as groundskeeper Willie would say,

“You’ve made an enemy for life pal”

Perhaps it’s more than a little symbolic that it appears Danny Alexander could well be the only Scottish Lib-Dem MP to take up a seat in the emerging cabinet. Every person of a certain age in Scotland remembers the last time that they controlled the levers of power. Propping up a minority Tory regime is most certainly not what the majority of Lib-Dem voters had in mind when they cast their vote for “change”.

It would be easier to take some assurance from the myriad of Con-Lib spokesman who talk about a “respect” agenda towards Scotland if the cabinet taking shape weren’t so white, male, southern English, Oxford (majority) or Cambridge educated, slick on one hand and entitled on the other. History will judge Scottish Labour, but for good or ill, they are genuine and real to Scotland. At best the new government will be perceived as alien to the majority of Scots, and even the noblest intentions won’t save The Secretary of State for Scotland from the appearance of tokenism- will we get a black minister as well as a jock mistah Dave?

So far it looks a lot more “Old” Tory than “New” and there is no honeymoon in Caledonia. Money is a problem. A new funding arrangement between Westminster and Holyrood is imminent. A large public sector and the iniquitous nature of Barnett consequential cuts will disproportionally affect Scotland.

Senior Scottish Lib-Dem’s are already quick to defend their position by promising a rapid implementation of the financially inept Calman proposals. The Tories campaigned on some unspecified pledge to do their “own thing” about their wee bother up north, and The SNP will demand nothing less than full fiscal autonomy. A wounded and threatening Scottish Labour will attack Con-Lib with the same ferocity that they usually reserve for the nationalists. Whatever method of financing Scotland emerges in The Queens Speech should be taken with a pinch of salt. Danny’s joined the dark side, and there are now just two electable political parties in Scotland. The Scottish Constitution will be decided during their all too infrequent moments of détente.

Suicidal Tendencies-The Scottish Lib Dems And The Curse of Mondeo

It’s not been a bad election for the independence movement in Scotland. The SNP consolidated their position after increasing their share of the vote in spite of a hostile and biased media, and the reality that Scotland had one thing in mind upon entering polling stations last Thursday-stop the Tories. For most, that meant a return to Labour in a futile effort to keep David Cameron out of Downing St. Labour ran an excellent campaign that played on the fears of the Scottish psyche and they should be congratulated if not admired for doing so.

Although the loss of John Mason’s seat in Glasgow East is a disappointment for The SNP, all polling evidence suggests that the results will be very different when voters go to the polls in the Scottish General Election next year. The Scottish electorate is much more sophisticated than they are given credit for, and many Labour voters will return to the SNP when it comes to the Holyrood election.

Football pundit Jim Traynor captured the mood succinctly when he announced on his BBC RadioScotland phone in that he,“ would vote SNP because he believes in independence for Scotland”, but this time he , “voted Labour in order to stop the Tories”

Unfortunately, the electorate have failed and the possible sharp medicine of a Conservative emergency budget lies just around the corner. If as expected, The Liberal Democrats were to form a formal coalition, or a confidence/supply agreement with the Tories, David Cameron could be handed the keys to number 10 as soon as tomorrow.

There is also the intriguing notion that the Lib-Dems in Scotland will have to fight the next election with a serious “guilt by association” handicap. In a few hours time “the party of change” could well become “the party that inflicted Tory rule on Scotland”. As coalition negotiations continue, Liberal Democrat MSPs must be having heart palpitations at the thought of a Con-Lib pact- a policy of community care for paedophiles would be easier to defend than laying with the children of Thatcher.

For The SNP it is a salivating prospect. The Lib-Dems are their natural competitors for the anti-Labour vote, and in some ways they have been more of an impediment to national liberation than any other political grouping in Scotland. Apart from their core vote in the highlands, they have been adept at capturing votes amongst students in particular, and the 18-35 demographic as a whole in both Glasgow and Edinburgh. It is these voters that the SNP needs in order to achieve a critical mass in support needed in order to drive through both an independence referendum, and ultimately a yes vote.

It is one of the great conundrums of Scottish politics that the SNP, an effectively revolutionary organisation, has failed to inspire people under 35, and women. For the past seven years, polling evidence suggests that it is the over 55’s who are the most likely to vote SNP, and the under 35’s who are most likely to vote for a unionist party. It shouldn’t be so. Monumental social change must include the youth vote. In America it was college kids who took to the streets to stop the Vietnam War, who went south to say no to George Wallace and yes to Martin Luther King. It was les estudiantes who took to the streets during “The Quiet Revolution” in Quebec., and in the Ukraine’s orange uprising.Tiananmen Square, red shirts in Thailand, the list goes on. Despite the seemingly interchangeable nature of a position in the National Union of Students and a career in The Labour Party, it is the Liberal Democrats who have captured the cosmopolitan campuses and cities of The Central Belt.

The heady days of 2005 when The Liberal Democrats peaked in Scotland were due a great turnout from the anti-war movement and amongst students. The rest of their vote? Well, those are the people on which they are about to inflict a surprisingly frank Alistair Darling’s “Cuts worse than Thatcher”. The party has already been in decline in Scotland since their marriage with Labour in the first two parliaments. It’s almost painful to watch them collectively self immolate for the lusts of their southern masters. It’s a tough trade if you belong to a unionist party in Scotland-big brother always comes first.

There is still the slight possibility that they could change their minds and form the “progressive coalition”, but surely any government that involves The Celtic Bloc would raise a fire in the belly of Middle England. Could English independence be far away?It would have made for good television, if in the run up to the Westminster poll,a pundit had asked someone in The SNP what they would prefer?

a) The SNP win 20 seats.

b) A second unionist party will make themselves unelectable in Scotland

c) You hold the balance of power in the London parliament.

What a lovely chalace to drink from.It hasn’t been a bad election for pro-independence people in Scotland at all.

A Disenfranchised Neighbour

As confusion reigns over who will form the next Government of the United Kingdom, the prospect of Gordon Brown holding on through a progressive coalition has provoked a venomous deluge of comment from the English right. England voted Tory and they should get the government that they voted for, but of course this means that Scotland would get a government that it voted overwhelmingly against. It is obvious that the British state no longer meets the needs or aspirations of the constituent nations. Perhaps Scottish independence will come quicker than anyone realizes- England is not a very happy place at the moment. I plucked the following comments of the internet.

"If we turn off the subsidy tap to the Scots we will soon have them in line squealing to kiss our arses. We need a whole lot of payback for the Blair/Brown occupation of England.Personally I would favour a few expeditions north of the border a la Longshanks…"

“62% of people want brown to fuck off and die, 28% of Scots want him to stay, send him back to Scotland and nuke the bastards”

“What and stitch up the fucking English once more? Fuck the jocks piss off back to Scotland and rape your fucking kids there you ginger haired fucking c u n t s”

“This is a perfect time to get the Scottish and Welsh Socialists off of the English taxpayer’s teat – they HATE us and financially rape us with their free elder care and free university educations etc etc – all paid for by the English taxpayer.”

“I am sick to death of the Labour Scots and Welsh socialists buying their seats with our money.”

“Fuck off back up to Scotland and take Brown with you!”

“Westminster for English MP’s only. If you have your own assembly, stay there, unless matters affecting the UK are being discussed. No MP’s for Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland. Perhaps it is time to end the Union. Oh and can we have our money back from RBS and the BOS.”

“Well said, the jocks are fucking scum.”

“Could start by dumping the Barnet Formula altogether. Let the Scots have the same budget per head as in England. Then stop MPs from north of the border from voting on English issues. Hopefully the Scots will then take their oil, haggis and oatcakes and go away to create a socialist utopia under Gordon Brown.”

“It is time to repeal the 1707 Act of Union – by doing so the United Kingdom ceases to exist. Scotland can go its own way – and so can England – that is what this vote has shown. If the UK no longer exists, it cannot be an EU member state – England and Scotland can then have referenda to decide on their future membership – I would anticipate that England would then be free of the EU yoke.”

“Hear hear! We’re fed up being governed by Jock twats”

“Jocks, thick northerners, Muslims, students. All of the above (plus public sector scum and the unemployed) want to keep the gay mong in power.”

“Time to end the Union. Time for an English Parliament. English MPs for English laws. English jobs for English workers. English taxes for English public services.”

The Upside of Having No Government

Normally I limit myself to punting on football- it always appears to offer me some hope due to the inevitability of certain results, but after a profitable nights plunder on the Scottish seats market, a further venture into the world of political betting is in order. Thank you Mr. Murray in Edinburgh South by the way. A 6/1 winner when the wine ran out and the eyelids were getting heavy was a fine way to end the evening.



Newly elected Labour MP Ian Murray(left)with outgoing sex scandal MP Nigel Griffiths. Murray held Edinburgh South for Labour in one of last nights upsets. Labour confounded all expectations by taking a seat which had a dramatic increase in postal voting during the run up to the UK poll.


I have no inclination to put my winnings on the line in a late-night Brazilian Serie B match or the like this evening, but I have picked up on a cracking wee wager with very little downside. Take David Cameron to be Prime Minister on June 6th at 1/3(1.33) with Ladbrokes and cover it with a punt in the Next Government market with Paddy Power where a Lib-Lab coalition is available at 6/1(7). Barring another Election, Belgium style negotiation, or establishment England throwing an unforeseen wobbly when they realize that the balance of power will possibly be held by The SNP and Plaid, these are the only two likely scenarios.

If you place %84 of your wager on Cameron at 1/3(1.33), and %16 on Lib-Lab at 6/1(7), then you get a return of %12. Not bad for a month long investment all considered. The bookie is probably as safe a place for your cash as any these days. I found it ominous that that the falling market and flight from sterling featured so little in the electoral coverage. Tick-Tock.

Prices correct at time of writing

Notes On A Banana Monarchy

There’s been much talk of proportional representation and an unfair electoral system as England prepares to decide who shall be the next Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Although Lib-Dem leader Nick Clegg has intimated that electoral reform is not a deal breaker if he enters coalition talks after the poll, the issue will remain on the political radar for the foreseeable future. From a Scottish perspective it should be a done deal after The Parliament adopted the STV system as the preferred method for voting in Westminster Elections.

It once was a favourite conspiracy theory amongst nationalists that proportional representation was introduced into Scotland’s fledgling democracy as a means of stopping The SNP from obtaining a parliamentary majority. While it has had its limitations exposed, at least AMS (Additional Member System) began to address the bizarre effects of first past the post in Scottish elections. Perhaps it is fortunate that the blunt remedy England's voters administered to Labour didn’t materialize north of the border. Even if armageddon were to arrive for the party in Scotland, there could be the ludicrous scenario whereby The Labour Party finishes fourth and still ends up with the most seats.

In theory Labour could get %20.9 of the Scottish vote and still finish first in seats on 18. According to Electoral Calculus, The SNP could finish first with %27.5 of the vote and end up tied for second in seats with the Liberal Democrats (%24.1) on 17. Were there to be a modest Tory resurgence (collective national masochism), the minority party would still end up fourth with %21.7 of the vote and 7 seats. Such a result would seriously undermine what is left of Westminster's mandate it Scotland and expose the Scottish electoral system to international ridicule once again.

Were The Scottish Parliament to hold sway and STV is introduced for Westminster elections, Scotland can begin to rebuild some of its democratic credentials. Spoiled ballots, erroneous counts, missing electoral registers, and widespread suspicion of postal voting have all occurred under Westminster’s watch. Mr Clegg would be well advised to realize that a deal on PR isn't enough if he means to instigate an electoral reform agenda in Scotland. Full control of elections in Scotland must be transferred to Holyrood as part of any package of reform.

Court TV

Imagine it’s time for another general election (I understand that it’s a painful notion). The CBC has made arrangements for a leadership debate to be broadcast across Canada, a coast to coast opportunity for the political leaders to hawk their wares to the Canadian electorate on prime time television. At a secret location beforehand, CBC executives enter negotiations with the Liberals, NDP, and Conservatives. They hammer out a deal regarding the time and format of the debate and they also come to an agreement to exclude The Bloc Quebecois. In Quebec, presenters on Télévision de Radio-Canada tell their viewers that the Bloc shouldn’t be included in the debates because they are not standing candidates outside of their own province. The news reports portray the Bloc as irrelevant in the election, and justify their exclusion from the debate because Duceppe could never become Prime Minister. The people in Quebec, Anglophone and Francophone alike, take exception to the anti-democratic nature of the debate and inundate the CBC with complaints. The CBC respond by shutting down their political blog, the topic is banned from discussion on the radio phone-in, and certain presenters take the opportunity to berate The Bloc for getting “uppity”. What would the result be? Would there be honourable resignations from the CBC, protests on the streets of Montreal? Would the federalist cause be fatally wounded?

On May 6th there will be a general election in the United Kingdom. For the first time in British history, The BBC have arranged a leadership debate to be broadcast across the four diverse nations that meet together in the Westminster parliament. The BBC, in negotiations with the three main London based unionist parties (Labour, Liberal Democrat, and Conservative) have decided to exclude The Scottish National Party (SNP) from the debate. The SNP are the Government of Scotland, and the largest party in The Scottish Parliament. They also believe in the controversial concept of independence for Scotland. The idea of Scotland withdrawing from the United Kingdom and becoming an independent nation within the European Union is vehemently opposed by the British establishment, and the fifth estate.

Many people in Scotland see the exclusion of the SNP as an affront to democracy. They see it as a “stitch-up” by the establishment in order to stifle debate and minimalize the SNP’s chance of success at the election. Last Sunday the SNP launched an online appeal in order to raise the £ 50 000 (75 000 $CDN) required to take for legal action against BBC in the Scottish courts in order to compel the broadcaster to include the SNP in this Thursday’s debate. The appeal was a rapid success. In thirty-one hours, hundreds of ordinary people across Scotland and England donated to the cause regardless of their political persuasion.

Martin Bell, a BBC employee of thirty-five years, and former MP in England said,

"I believe the election leaders' debates have been a great innovation, and are helping voters engage in the democratic process. But at the same time, the exclusion of the SNP and Plaid Cymru has been profoundly unfair to those parties - especially given the way the TV debates are so clearly dominating all media coverage of the election. And I believe that in future a better balance will have to be found to make sure that these parties are included and not squeezed out, as they have been in this campaign. I support the action being taken by the SNP in relation to the party's proposed legal challenge, as the issue is one of such fundamental democratic importance."

The legal challenge was launched on Tuesday morning at The Court of Session in Edinburgh.

Nicola Sturgeon, Deputy Leader of the SNP said,

“We’re not trying to stop the BBC debate; we want it to go ahead as planned and to be broadcast across the whole of the UK, including Scotland. But that must be on the basis that it is fair and democratic and includes all the main political parties in Scotland. That is why, legal jargon aside, our case is so simple and so straightforward. It is simply unfair and undemocratic not to be allowed to participate.”

Unsurprisingly the unionist parties are against SNP participation.

Labour's Lord Foulkes said:

"Basically the whole thing is a publicity stunt for the SNP."

David McLetchie, the Scottish Tory election campaign manager, also hit out and said,

"This is the most expensive stunt of the General Election campaign so far."

Publicity stunt or fundamental abuse of democracy, what is clear is that the BBC has failed to adapt to the changing political reality of The United Kingdom, and they have damaged the credibility of public service broadcasting in Scotland. Perhaps it is time they looked across the water to Canada for an example of how to deal with political coverage in these changing times. I’m sure that there are plenty of people in places like Saskatoon or Red Deer who don’t have much time for Mr. Duceppe’s vision for Canada. Would they go so far as to deny him the opportunity to have his say?